The Unseen Cost of Pushing Through

"I'll rest when I'm done."

That's a phrase I’ve heard (and said) many more times than I can count.

It sounds noble, even responsible—finishing what you started, showing up no matter what, proving to yourself and others that you can handle it all. But over time, I’ve realized that pushing through, especially when I’m already tired, distracted, or unwell, comes at a quiet cost. One I didn’t fully recognize until I found myself deeply worn out, physically and emotionally.

I’m not here to give medical advice or speak in absolutes. I’m not a doctor or an expert in anything other than my own lived experience. But what I can say is this: pushing through eventually pushed me over the edge.

When I knew it was too much...

There was a season where I woke up already behind. Every hour felt like a race to catch up—with work, with home, with expectations I couldn’t name but felt deeply. I ignored the headaches, the tension in my body, and even my doctor's recommendations that I slow down!

I chalked it up to a reality of life. “This is just how it is,— everyone feels like this,” I told myself. Unfortunately, the reality is that too many of us live like this: in a constant state of stress and exhaustion.

When I realized my life could actually be in jeopardy by the way I was living, I knew something (or more likely, many things) needed to change.

I needed to allow myself to stop.

The Real Cost No One Talks About

By trying to always push through, my mind and body were paying a price. Pushing through was costing me:

My health: I wasn't listening to my body— even when it started yelling through fatigue, sickness, and burnout.
My presence: I was there physically, but finding it difficult to connect with anyone. Distracted, edgy, emotionally spent— I struggled to keep and maintain any kind of friendships.
My joy: My anger with myself was holding me back from being able to be truly present, and I found myself mentally 'checking out' of important moments in my life. My fear was also holding me back— I found myself too timid to do the things I used to love.

And the hardest part to realize? No one asked me to do it. No one was demanding this level of output from me. I was the one who set the bar, raised it, and then shamed myself for not clearing it.

Time to check in.

If any part of this feels familiar, please know that you’re allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to listen when your body complains, so it doesn’t have to scream. You are not a machine—and you don’t have to prove your worth through productivity.

If you resonate with the emotions I expressed above, it is time to check in and assess what you have decided to take on in your life. Ask yourself: is this worth the impact it is having on my health? My relationships? My life?

What small thing could support me in this moment?

You might not be able to change your whole schedule. But you can give yourself water. Take a breath. Close your eyes. Step outside for 60 seconds. These things matter.

Keep it simple,

-Ashley 💛

💛 Ready to Take a First Step?

If today’s message spoke to you, I’ve created a free reflection guide to help you pause, reset, and move forward with purpose—right from where you are.

This reflection guide is filled with thoughtful prompts and space to reflect on what you read today.

Download it below and carve out a few minutes for yourself—you’re worth that kind of care.

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