Dealing with Disappointment

None of us are strangers to disappointment.

It’s a common part of being human—yet it can leave a wound that runs deeper than we often realize. Not just in our thoughts, but in our body and spirit too.

Disappointment isn’t just a passing “oh well.” More often, it’s the quiet ache of what could have been. A gap between the life we imagined and the one unfolding in front of us.

Sometimes we try to move on quickly—tell ourselves it’s not a big deal. We rationalize: Others have it worse. There will be other chances. It wasn’t likely anyway. And maybe all of that is true. But the danger isn’t in the feeling itself. It’s in what happens when disappointment is left unspoken and unprocessed.

Left unchecked, it doesn’t just sit—it lingers. It festers.

And, if we’re not careful, it can quietly shape the way we see ourselves, others, and what’s possible.

The Quiet Weight of Unmet Hopes

We often think of disappointment as something to "get over." But more often, it’s something we need to move through. Slowly. Thoughtfully. With care.

Behind every disappointment is something that mattered to us—a hope we held, a prayer we whispered, a possibility we let ourselves believe in. When we ignore or minimize that ache, we don’t make it disappear. We just press it down.

And pressed-down pain has a way of showing up in other places—resentment, apathy, burnout, even shame. We may start to guard our hopes more tightly. We stop reaching, praying, and expecting good things—not because we don’t want joy, but because we’re quietly afraid of the ache that might follow.

Supressed emotions can be best described as an inflated beach ball that you're struggling to hold under the water. You may be successful at first, but as time goes on, that beach ball will continue to push up against you until it finally slips free and comes rushing to the surface. When that happens, no amount of suppression will help our emotions from showing. 

Instead, we need to learn to quietly deflate the beach ball. We need to tend to our disappointment, be honest with ourselves, and accept where we are with compassion and grace. 

Instead of ignoring, we need to accept.

Let yourself name it.

So what do we do with disappointment? First, we need to acknowledge it. 

When you sit with your disappointment, ask yourself: 

• What was I hoping for? 

• What loss am I carrying?

• How is it affecting my emotions, thoughts, and actions in the present? 

This isn’t about wallowing. It’s about allowing yourself to be fully human. You must grieve what didn’t happen, so your heart has room to hope again.

Sometimes, what we need most is simply to say:

This mattered to me. And it hurts that it didn’t happen.

Accept that it hurts.

Often time, the biggest enemy in our ability to process disappointment is in our refusal to accept that our grief is justifiable. 

In our minds, it can be much more 'acceptable' to go through this process for 'big losses', such as death, job loss, or health issues. 

Disappoinment doesn't have to 'look big' to be worth grieving though. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a job opportunity that never panned out, a dream date that didn't go according to plan, a hangout with friends that never happened. 

You cannot properly accept the pain of your unmet hopes if you do not validate that it is worth be grief you are feeling. 

Find a simpler way forward.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need a 5-step plan to fix the ache. You only need one gentle, honest step: to feel what you feel without rushing past it.

Because healing doesn’t come from ignoring the wound—it comes from tending to it with grace.

And sometimes, that grace looks like a deep breath, a quiet journal entry, a whispered thought:

“This was hard. But I’m still here.”

Keep it simple,

-Ashley 💛

💛 Ready to Take a First Step?

If today’s message spoke to you, I’ve created a free reflection guide to help you pause, reset, and move forward with purpose—right from where you are.

This reflection guide is filled with thoughtful prompts and space to reconnect with the present moment.

Download it below and carve out a few minutes for yourself—you’re worth that kind of care.

👉 Click here to download the guide

Want more simplicity in your life?